"Your the Voice"

Tonight I rediscovered my Love of Music, I found some of the songs I listened to growing up as a child in Australia, very much Influenced by my older sister Donna, I was always with her and was called little Donna for most of my Life. We would listen to John Farnham over and over! I can remember listening to his music in the "girls" bedroom in Alwyn Court House, with those pink walls and her bed next to the window and mine against the kitchen wall. How on earth did we all fit in that small house? Anyway I found some songs that I haven't heard since I was 11 years old and I still knew the words. Made me think of many old memories which is always fun. Donna and Ngaire took me to my first concert, Debbie Gibson! Floor seats, got a special outfit for it and everything, Black and White shirt, Black pants, Black & White Polka Dot Socks! We stopped at KFC to eat and wouldn't you know it, I spilled my Orange Juice all over myself. Donna and I started a tradition in Utah, we went to every Tim McGraw Concert and Kenny Chesney Concert. Good Times, I miss going to them with her. We would sing and dance along and buy shirts and key chains, when I think how much I have spent on the concerts its kinda crazy, but I wouldn't give up those memories for anything. No matter where we sat we always had fun, even trying to get out of the stupid amphitheater in West Valley was an adventure. Hopefully soon we can start going again. I remember when I flew back to Australia the first time with Mum and Dad in 1999, Tim had just released the song "Please Remember Me" I loved it, I heard it on the plane ride and cried my eyes out. Donna was kind enough to send me the Album "A Place in the Sun" while I was still in Australia. I couldn't wait till I got back to the States, lol. I got my first Tim Album "Everywhere" the day I got into my first car accident in the way home from my job at BYU, the sun was in my eyes and I hit a car, but there was no damage but I was really upset. Mum took me to Wal-mart in American Fork and let me pick one out to cheer me up, little did she know that this was the start of a Love Affair! One of the Many Concerts we went too was at the Delta Center and Tim had Kenny Chesney as his opening act. We were in the first row right off the right side of the stage, right where Kenny entered the stage, I was in the seat closest to where everyone came out. That begun the Kenny Love Affair! I have a picture of him walking off stage,  I called his name and he turned and waved, ahhh Kenny! As I write this I am listening to some Tim on YouTube, So cool. Its funny how just hearing a line in a song can stir up so many emotions and take you back too so many places, to a small house filled with 8 kids, two parents, a dog and three cats, birds and fish and sometimes a Foster Kid or a Boarder or the Elders and Lots of Love, to a crowded arena looking at Tim McGraw singing your favorite song and you feeling like there is no one else in the place, to a crowded amphitheater talking to the strangers next to you and getting their friends front row ticket and sneaking down there to listen and stare and get as close as ever to Tim before getting caught by security and having to go back to your seat! To taking your niece and nephew to their first Kenny Chesney Concert and Singing with them and seeing the Happiness on their faces when they first saw him on that stage. I love music and the memories that come back with every song.......

Merry Christmas Eve!

Just wanted to say that its christmas eve and I am headed to bed so that Santa can come visit us and Leave us some goodies! Love to everyone and I hope you all are safe and loved at this time.

I miss you.....

I just wanted to let you know that I miss you. I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. I miss your eyes. I miss your hands. I miss your arms. I miss your voice. I miss your smell. I miss everything about you. I just wanted you to know.....

Lunar Eclipse

Those of you who follow my Facebook page have seen these but I can't stop looking at them and looking up video of the beautiful site I got to be a witness of this morning, It was a beautiful clear night in Florida, freezing cold, but perfect. We took the dogs down with us to view the Eclipse but they of course barked and fussed and ran around, but still it was good for them to be out of the apartment. We stayed out for about an hour and a half, Frank and the neighbor took the dogs back up right before I took the last picture. When it was totally covered we went back upstairs to defrost. I went back down about 10 mins later. I took my camera but forgot to put in the memory card, I took a few pictures that are on the camera, but you really can't see anything, the Moon was red and just amazing.  The sky was breath taking, Stars shinning down. It made me cry. Everything makes me cry right now. I remembered as a child at Vermont Primary School, there being a Solar Eclipse, We weren't allowed outside at lunch. I came up after looking the 2nd time and told Frank about the Solar Eclipse he looked at me like I was crazy, so I had to prove him wrong, lol we are very competitive. So I looked it up to prove to him that indeed there was one during my Primary school days. April 24th 1986, I was 7. So Ha Ha I was right! I may not remember where I left my keys or what I did 10 mins ago, but somethings stick with you. So now in my lifetime I have been around for a Solar Eclipse and a Lunar Eclipse and I have been lucky enough to watch two Shuttle Launches, which I have always wanted to see in person, One at night and One During the Day. Space is pretty Awesome, wish I had paid more attention in Science Class. It really is Awesome. Here is a link to a video of the Lunar Eclipse, The music is creepy but the video is awesome! http://vimeo.com/18046748. The Next one won't be seen until 2485, I know I won't be around for that one.

Lazy Bum Kinda Day...

To Quote My Big Brother Guy, today I was a lazy bum, I slept till 11am, of course falling asleep at 3.30am it doesn't sound that late now. Anyway I was so lazy that I can't remember what I did. I know I have been reading a Blog and looking at photos of a trip that I wasn't on, with people I have never met, but you know what, I felt like I was there, like I know them. I share in his pain and in his joy. I look at Maddy and I smile and then I cry, and then I smile again. She is a Beautiful Little 2 year old, who will turn 3 in March. The 24th of march. One Day after my Birthday. That Makes me smile. Then I think of the Day after her birthday and that makes me cry. I honestly don't know how he does it. How will she deal with it when she gets older? I read how he does it and I think I could never do it. I think I would give up, turn resentful and bitter. But then I think, I wouldn't give up, in fact I look back and I haven't given up. I haven't dealt with the same things he has, but I have dealt with my own trials that to me seemed huge at the time, but now they were stepping stones to who I have become. I may never meet Matt and Maddy but they have become a huge part of my life and have given me smiles and laughs that have helped me through this down time and I hope they know that there is someone out there who is going to remember their Angel Liz every 25th too. And that Like Me, there are people pulling for them too......

" Dang it What if"

So I was starting to drift off to sleep last night around 12.30am, so I guess it was this morning, but anyway as I just starting to drift off to sleep I was thinking of one of my Happy Places, Our House of 8th north in Orem. ( I miss that house so much, dang you udot!) The wonderful view of Mount Timpanogos in the Backyard, the family bbq's, the garden dad has grown with pride, the wonderful huge tree that was the shade on a hot day when the kids were running around the backyard, the lilac bushes that lined the back fence that grew taller and taller each year. In my mind I can still see it the way it was on the day we moved in. My mind was full of Happiness when My Dog Gizmo came to visit, remembering how he just seemed to know what time it was and that i would be climbing over that fence, home from school, ready with is tail wagging and kisses for his Corri. Then my mind went to a place that I try not to blame myself for (but always do). Mum and Dad were in Australia for the funeral of My Auntie Dianne, My Mothers Sister. I was home alone, working at wal-mart at a department manager and support manager, I had worked late that night and came home and needed to water the roses out front. I couldn't stand the thought of leaving gizzy inside alone after he had been alone all night, so I took him with me. 8th north was a busy road, when we took him out front on most occasions we closed the gate, even thought he knew how to squeeze out the bottom when he saw a bike ride by or someone he wanted to follow, I couldn't even tell you how many times I chased him down the sidewalk. He used to run across the street if he saw anyone of us walking back from harmons, used to scare us all to death. That night he came out and the little voice in my head, the spirit, Jiminy Cricket and everyone else who tells you when something is right and wrong told me to put him on his leash. Did I listen? Did I ever Listen? I can hear mum saying that in my head now. No I knew better, I made a choice to let him come out without it. I didn't Listen. And that choice has haunted me for the rest of my life. While watering the roses with the hose, we usually just put the sprinkler on, he was sniffing around as he always did he came over and watched and played. Then he noticed someone in the parking lot of harmons walking where is family had walked so many times before. I looked and told him "No Gizzy" and went to pick him up, but he ran right out on the road, right in front of a Suv, I can see him being hit by the Front tire, then the Back tire, I screamed, and ran out into the road, The suv didn't even know that they has just taken away my Best Friend and my Baby. he was still breathing when I picked him up, crying and screaming "No, No, No, I am so sorry Gizzy Mummy is so so sorry" He died in my arms. No one was there, I couldn't run inside and get Mum and Dad to make it better, No one was around. I called My Sister Donna, and somehow told her Gizmo died, I can still here her say "what Corri? what I can't understand you" "Gizmo was just hit by a car and is dead" "we will be right there," which was 15 or 2o mins away. I layed Gizzy on the grass and sat next to him, petting his lifeless body saying over and over again "I am so Sorry and I love you." Back to last night, I couldn't breathe after just a picture popped in my head. I sat up crying softly, I didn't want to wake up the dogs or frank, but I still couldn't breathe, I came out into the living room and cried and sobbed, like it had just happened a few mins ago, not years ago, I think it was 2001, I am horrible with dates. I prayed for comfort and it came. Out of nowhere Ngaire text me. She had no idea I was sitting on the couch doing the hiccup cry that I always did as a child. She was awake with a fussy baby. She text me that it wasn't my fault, and that the what if's don't help. She has a similar experience with her cat. I saw Mum was online and send her a message, she asked why I couldn't sleep. I told her. She said Its in the Past, can't live in the past, Focus on the future. That scares me even more than the past. She calmed me down and I sat up for a while reading a Blog I had discovered the day before-more about that another time- It made me smile. I went back to bed and went to Sleep, Still Asking "Dang it what if I had Listened? "

Just a Picture

Marci, Andrew and Karissa (Bryce was @ Baseball)
Michael, Brendan and Afton
Bella, Alyssa and Bradley

So I started the blog and then got side tracked by Facebook lol but After the Slip and Fall in the Shower which resulted in the Fractured Shoulder and Fractured tail-bone has given me allot of free time! Being on an Leave from work during the holidays is not my idea of a good time. I actually missed the craziness of the "event" (black friday). I think the thing I miss the most is the interaction with the people. I miss not being busy and the needed feeling work gives. I am missing my Family in Utah, North Carolina and Australia so much at this time. Being away really sucks. I have two nieces I have never even met. It makes me sad. I am close with my nieces and nephews and have a special relationship with all of them. Afton was pretty much with me everyday for the first few years of her life, same with Michael. I lived with Andrew and Karissa for 6 months while they were little, and I ways always the one there to Baby Sit whenever my sisters needed.I still think of all of them as little kids. They are frozen in my mind the way the were when I moved to Florida. But I know that isn't true. Andrew is married with a wife and child, Karissa is working in a pharmacy and is working towards a degree. Marci has graduated from High School and has a Boyfriend. Bryce is a young man with gadgets and grown up toys. Afton is in Young Womans! I still remember taking her to a young womens activity about temples when she is still in a car seat! I had to walk with her from the House in 800 north to the chapel on 1200 north. Man that car seat was heavy. I will have to tell her that story on day. Michael is not my Little Chunky Monkey anymore, he is a grown teenager. When he answers the phone I sometimes don't know who it is, because his voice has changed. Brendan my little Brendan isn't so little anymore. He is in shcool and is doing great. Alyssa is so grown up, singing in school and becoming a real young lady. Shy little Bradley isn't so shy anymore and is a spitting image of Jamie. Bella is not the little girl who would hide and would have to be worked on to get out of her shell to play. She is a Blonde haired beauty! Blake is also the spitting image of Guy, i love when i get to see him, even in pictures he makes me laugh. Madison is a sweet little girl who is going to be a smart little heart breaker I just Love her. And then I have Tahlia and Nay-dean, and I have never seen them beside pictures and Skype, Breaks my heart that I am not there with them to make wonderful memories with..... So far all I am to them is a Picture and a name.................